I recently gave a series of one hour classes for teachers. The topics ranged from teaching mindfully to parenting to self-care. I can wholeheartedly say that I am passionate about these topics and that I am and will continue to be in process with these subject matters in my own life, and I did my best to prepare and teach them. My desire was and is to teach and serve, and hopefully make a difference. I do this, knowing that my message may not be well received, or that it may not resonate with all. One thing that I consistently discover is that we must all find what works for us in this life, what works for me, may not work for you. Nevertheless, I noticed that though most of the feedback was positive, and there were a few negative, there were some who wanted a “magic pill.” They wanted me to give them this “magic pill” in a one hour on-line class. The problem with this idea of a “magic pill” to fix all of our woes and troubles, is that it requires no work.
Yes, life is work! Sometimes though, we make it harder than it has to be, especially when we become self-important. I have to do it all myself, otherwise it won’t get done, or it will get done the wrong way. Or, I can’t take anything off of my plate right now. Trust me, I still get caught in this trap. The fact is, I don’t have to do it myself, I can ask for help. The truth is, all of those things don’t have to be on my plate. This reminds me of when Don Miguel writes about humans’ addiction to suffering in The Four Agreements and his other works. Why must we suffer? Why must I have all of these things on my plate in order to be a good person? Am I really the only one who can accomplish this task? Or can I ask for help?
We must be willing to do the work, to take a careful inventory of where we are spending our time and energy and decide if it is serving us in a positive or negative way. Example . . . Two years into my teaching career, I had my first child. When I had my son, I made a conscious choice to never take work home. I decided I wanted to be fully present for my children. Don’t you worry, there were plenty of other distractions that life brought me along the way. The point is, we are at choice. We get to choose what takes up our time and energy.
That brings me to one of my favorite new words “NO.” Several years ago, I discovered this word “NO.” I have practiced using it, because, it does take practice. A couple years ago, my dear friend (another Rachel), told me how much she loved my “NO’s.” It took me a moment to register, since at first I thought she meant “nose.” Then I realized what she meant, she had witnessed me telling another yoga instructor how I had to say no to some opportunities because I knew I did not have the space or energy in my life, no matter how wonderful the offer was. I said my no with conviction and in a pleasant and peaceful tone, there was no need for anyone to become defensive or offended. Yay for “no’s!”:
Though sometimes I do wish there was a magic pill that could help me make the right choice at each turn, that is not what this journey is about. This journey is about growth and finding and connecting to our true authentic self. This journey is filled with duality: the ups and downs, the good and bad, the joy and sorrow, fear and love. The more we can be fluid in life, accepting the mystery of it, the more we can learn, evolve and grow into our divine purpose.
Much love,
Rachel