Many years ago I came across The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Thank you Oprah! It was at a time in my life when there was a lot of transition and turmoil. The first agreement is "Be impeccable with your word." What I have realized with the first agreement is that being impeccable with your word is important not only when speaking to others, but also, when we speak to ourselves.
Don Miguel defines impeccable as without sin. Therefore, we want to use the word without sin, without going against ourselves. We want to use the word to create magic and beauty, instead of fear and hate. With your word you can create "personal freedom", and "huge success and abundance". The word can "take away all fear and transform it into joy and love." "You can live in heaven in the middle of thousands of people living in hell because you are immune to that hell" because you use your word to express love and gratitude, or it can do the opposite!
First, we want to use the word to manifest love for ourselves. If we can love ourselves and accept ourselves, it is so much easier to accept and love others. So . . . the more we love ourselves, the easier it is to use our word with integrity and love towards others. This does not mean that we are selfish or narcissistic, rather that we don't need the acceptance and approval of others to love ourselves the way we are right now, and that allows the love to flow more freely in us.
Sometimes, I think I have this mastered, then I say something awful, for example . . . "are you being dyslexic right now?" to my high school students! I did apologize! Or I snap at my husband because I am in the middle of doing laundry, and why is he interrupting me! The point is, it takes time to rewire the brain! It takes years of practice and messing up! That is what is so beautiful about The Four Agreements, though we do our best to be impeccable with our word, we "take responsibility for (our) actions, but (we) do not judge or blame (ourselves)." We simply "do our best!"
Yours truly,
Rachel Warrior Goddess