This is something I struggle with in two ways: sometimes I make myself small on purpose to please others, to not create drama, and other times I don't want to feel small, I want to feel important, but sometimes that means making others feel small in the process. So, this is something I continue to work on, putting away this need to feel big or small in different situations, being fulfilled with my own being, my own self-love and self-acceptance are enough!!!
Being a "pleaser" has always been one of my coping strategies, making myself small so that I don't upset anyone, putting others' needs before my own. I believe that women do this, we saw our mothers' do it before us. We do it with our partners, our children, our friends. Why?? I think because we want to be loved and accepted, we don't want anyone mad at us, we don't have enough self-love, we want approval. So, taking a deep breath next time you feel small, and really noticing what is best for you, not what you feel is best for everyone else, in that moment. Don't be afraid to "speak your truth", don't be afraid to let others know what you need or want, and I will do the same.
I noticed recently, that I sometimes I find myself interrupting certain people in conversations so I can tell them . . . "Hey, look at me! I am important too! I did this and that . . . ". So, I have to make a conscious effort to STOP!, shift my perspective, and LISTEN! I need to notice when I do this, and understand, I am important, talking over someone, interrupting someone, or belittling someone, certainly does not make me more important. We are all precious, including me!
So, let's stop feeling small, or making others feel small to make ourselves feel big. Let's realize how precious each of us are. Let's do the work we need to do on ourselves and not try to fix others. Let's support each other on our journeys. Let's always come back to the reality that we are all important, we all have gifts, we all are capable of greatness.
Yours truly,
Rachel Warrior Goddess